His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.
Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table.
Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.
He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.
The ‘other man’ gets painfully left out, not yet knowing that is the best thing that could happen to him.
I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from a illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love-life (if he’s up for it).
The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blocks the guy has in the way.
In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.
In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.
A lot of misery is avoided with a respectful ending and opportunity to start again with someone else after a period of sincere efforts to fix a love relationship.