After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another.The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community. In stricter communities, the couple may decide a few days after originally meeting with each other.
It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.
If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead.
This is taken as an instruction for Jewish parents to weigh their child's opinion in the balance during an arranged marriage.
Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision - it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans (compare with the match of Jacob and Leah).
If the shidduch works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success.
In recent years, a number of shidduchim sites have appeared on the Internet.
The prospective partners either date each other or in stricter communities they go to a "bashow" or sit in.
A typical bashow scene is that the young man with his parents goes to see the young woman in her house to see if the prospective couple are compatible.
Both sets of parents talk to each other, and then when the setting is more relaxed, they go into another room, leaving the man and woman in the living room to speak among themselves.